Who doesn’t love a good laugh from puns and passive-aggressive remarks? This funny travel quotes will surely crack your nuts!
At first, I thought, is there anything funny about travel? Well, apparently I’m wrong and there are tons! While compiling this list I couldn’t help myself but chuckle a little. Seriously, it was so easy to look for travel quotes because there are so many famous people and notable writers out there whole have unbeatable humor!
Since I’ve published a couple list of quotes that became an instant hit, I’ve been more eager to look for more! I heard you, people, you love your quotes. I get it and here I am delivering it.
Truthfully speaking, not all of these quotes may seem funny now until you actually bump into a scenario during your travels that will truly relate to some of these funny travel quotes.
I, for one, relate to many of these and I can’t help but smile. I’ve shared tons of them with my friends who I know will relate to them and I was not disappointed, they all replied that they have been in that scenario.
What totally beats me is the quote by Ellen DeGeneres about Airline food and the chargrilled marks on it (only in first-class, I suppose. Never had them in economy!) and I totally can imagine her saying this in a really sarcastic but funny way. We all know that they don’t prepare food in airplanes but imagine if they do and they have an open grill in there? I probably will travel the world by land from there on! It was so spot on.
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Table of Contents
Funny Travel Quotes: Top 20 Humorous Quotes for Laughs and Giggles!
I’m not sure about you but for me, I like to read through funny travel quotes all the time! Well, that’s a lie, I love reading quotes in general – not just funny ones. Sometimes, especially if you’re a blogger like myself, you tend to stress about the littlest thing on the internet and some of the things I found extremely effective to take your brains away from procrastinating is to look at cat videos and read quotes. It keeps you motivated!
1. “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker
2. “On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.” – Lewis Grizzard
3. “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” – Steve Martin
4. “I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” –Bob Hope
5. “Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.” – Dave Barry
6. “Two great talkers will not travel far together.” – Spanish Proverb
7. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” – Unknown
8. “Las Vegas is sort of how God would do it if he had money.” – Steve Wynn
9. “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.”–Susan Sontag
10. “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” – Mark Twain
11. “You and I come by road or rail, but economists travel on infrastructure.” – Margaret Thatcher
12. “The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.” – Henry David Thoreau
13. “You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.” –Lewis Black
14. “Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” – Al Bolisk
15. “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Andre Guide
16. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them”. –Mark Twain
17. “The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” – Britney Spears
18. “In America, there are two classes of travel— first class, and with children.” –Robert Benchley
19. “I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.” – Hilaire Belloc
20. “Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversations.” – Elizabeth Drew
I know, so many funny travel quotes, right!? There’re more!
I didn’t realize I’ve compiled a lot! There’re just too many not to put here yet I didn’t even add everything I found because I want to only give you the best ones. Some of the notable ones are from EmileGanestabout people who drive thousands of miles just to be photographed in front of his car – not only this is an absolute case of passive-aggressiveness but it is also the truth (a funny one)!
21. “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.” – Helen Keller
22. “Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.” – Jim Gaffigan
23. “A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.” –Emile Ganest
24. “You know you’re in India when you hear yourself telling your driver as he is backing up, “Careful, there is a cow behind you.” – Lydia Ramsey
25. “Travelling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. ” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran
26. “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport.” – Douglas Adams
27. “Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.” – Mercedes Lackey
28. “Los Angeles is where you go when you want to be somebody. New York is where you go when you are somebody. Miami is where you go when you want to be somebody else.” – Billy Corben
29. “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra
30. “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz
31. “There is nothing safer than flying – it’s crashing that is dangerous.” – Theo Cowan
32. “The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling
33. “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore
34. “If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
35. “When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” – Clifton Fadiman
36. ” is the tiniest food I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get – chicken, steak, anything – has grill marks on each side, like somehow we’ll actually believe there’s an open-flame grill in the front of the plane.” – Ellen DeGeneres
37. “A good holiday is one that is spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” – J.B. Priestley
38. “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin
39. “Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.” – Kurt Vonnegut
40. “I kept my babies fed. I could have dumped them, but I didn’t. I decided that whatever trip I was on, they were going with me. You’re looking at a real daddy.” – Barry White
Below are my favorite quotes – read on!
You’ve now come to the end! Whew, that was a long list of funny travel quotes, isn’t? Well, don’t leave yet because down below is some of my favorites! Some are not as funny,like, roll-on-the-floor funny but rather it will make you think and chuckle a little.
41. “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes
42. “If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.” – James Michener
43. “I get pretty much all the exerciseI need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” –Guy Clark
44. “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine; it’s lethal.” – Paulo Coelho
45. “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux
Loved this? We also have other sorts of posts on this blog – check it out too!
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